no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
