i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
