It's like a parade of train wrecks.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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