She said her name was "party"
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
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