So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Semen is not good for contacts.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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