it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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