One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i think my mom watched the whole time
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize