i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
