Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize