glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
