HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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