You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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