Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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