I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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