do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
