i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
