i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
