He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
