so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
