no, he came in my armpit
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
