Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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