why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
