can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
