Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
