We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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