Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
