i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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