I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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