Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
be right there i have to get my cape
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
