i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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