I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
