On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
