Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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