Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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