woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
