google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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