Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
i now understand why vodka
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
