you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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