dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
This is classic penis vs brain.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
