pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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