What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
