so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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