Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Boobs are out for the taking
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
