Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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