dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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