Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
