i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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