If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
