Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
