Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize