so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
