That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
