READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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