I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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