If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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