Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
