I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
