so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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