This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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